Friends with benefits; how many of us have them? If you look in an urban dictionary, friends with benefits is defined as, “Two friends who have a sexual relationship without being emotionally involved”, “Typically two good friends who have casual sex without a monogamous relationship or any kind of commitment”. For men, friends with benefits is common and something they can handle without much thought, but for women; not so much. It is true that a friend with benefits rectifies any issues that can come along with a relationship. There is no commitment or exclusivity; therefore there is no answering to anyone or anything. Great sex (hopefully), and a great and simple friendship all in one. But I’m sure everyone has either experienced firsthand or vicariously that there always is one glitch in that equation; Someone ALWAYS catches feelings. Period. How long can those benefits really run without one or the other being disappointed and attached in the end.
I’ve always wonder what people consider the rules of having a friend with benefits. Do people map out what it is and how it’s going to be from the gate, or does it change as they go? How do people make clear what they expect out of the buddy system, if there is no commitment involved? Women always want to be able to match a man’s lack of emotion and detachment to someone, but honestly, most times we can’t hang because we’re just not emotionally built like men. I constantly see women involve themselves with men and try to make it just about sex, but in the end wind up wanting those benefits all for themselves and no other woman. Me personally; couldn’t do it. Nope. Tried it once, and he turned into a pest on my back, with a list of over-bearing demands and filing complaints every other day which was surprising! Uh-un, sorry!
No one ever thinks about what happens if you find yourself feeling a little hot and turned out by your “fix”. And if you do start to want more but your buddy doesn’t, how do you handle that? How can you enjoy the benefits of that relation, if you or your “partner” is constantly in their feelings about the other’s personal life and moves outside of them? And fellas; please don’t act like your feelings just bypass everything either. Men tend to be just as territorial and jealous as woman, they only do a great job of hiding and controlling it to a T! I think every woman across the globe would love answers as to why men mask their emotions and desires. So bloggers, being a woman, my biggest question today is this: Can a woman handle the role of having just a “buddy” that doesn’t want to be her man?
Life is a Playground..